Aerosmith Had a Video Game Where You Rescued Steven Tyler From An Evil Biker Babe
You’ve gotten Super Mario to his princess, and you played Space Invaders long enough to realize that you can’t actually beat Space Invaders. But have you fought off bizarre circus performers on behalf of KISS? Or taken on an army of violent commandoes in order to make the world safe for Steven Tyler? If you have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about — welcome to the world of rock ‘n’ roll video games.
Though the biggest musicians of the ’70s like Elton John, Kiss, Ted Nugent, and the Rolling Stones eagerly embraced the era’s pinball craze, bands were slower to get involved with video games. That makes sense — while pinball games only have to look cool, video games need a narrative, which is often where things got weird in band video games. Still, a number of bands have taken a crack at it since Journey became the first band to release their own game in 1982. Whether they should have … well, read on, and then decide.
The Thompson Twins Adventure, 1984
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Designed for early home gaming system Commodore 64, The Thompson Twins Adventure asked players to guide the “Hold Me Now” performers through the bizarre game’s world via text-based instructions. Players could have the Twins pick up a newspaper (headline: “The Thompson Twins Do It Again!”), inspect jars and bottles filled with mysterious substances (like “warm bats blood” and “the smell that clears the air”), and attempt to, uh, exit a cave. Grand Theft Auto it isn’t. But it’s impressive for the era — especially when you consider that players obtained a copy by playing a vinyl record, recording the sound of that record by themselves onto a cassette, and then placing that cassette inside their Commodore system. That’s a lot of effort just to get stuck in a cave!
Frankie Goes to Hollywood, 1985
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Just one year later, this far more sophisticated New Wave band video game for the Commodore had players search the band’s hometown of Liverpool for a location called Pleasuredome, seeking out items like money and floppy disks in order to gain “pleasure units” and become more fully human… until the game abruptly twisted into a murder mystery, where players must try to figure out whodunnit using text-based clues. And don’t forget the mini-games, like one where Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher have a duel.
This very unique game was conceived on the heels of the band’s 1984 hot streak, when “Relax,” “Two Tribes” and “Welcome to the Pleasuredome” were enormous hits in the US and UK. Though the game never quite became a hit — possibly because it was a bit too odd to be popular, possibly because Frankie’s star had faded a bit by the time the game actually came out — it’s remembered today as a creative take on the band video game concept.
Michael Jackson‘s Moonwalker, 1990
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Based on the long-form music video-cum-fantasy film of the same name, this Sega home game saw the King of Pop, dressed in the costume from his “Smooth Criminal” video, fight bad guys by using magic, dance moves like the Moonwalk, and what the game calls “Dance Magic:” a.k.a., the power to force all the villains to join you in performing the full choreography from videos like “Beat It.” Your goal as a player is to rescue child characters from the Moonwalker film, as they are attacked by zombies, security guards, and vicious dogs. Then, you pow-wow with Bubbles the Chimp, and eventually become a robot. As one does.
But it all worked. With good reviews and a soundtrack that included MIDI versions of Jackson’s hits, Moonwalker was the first musician-based video game to be a hit.
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Aerosmith’s Revolution X, 1994
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While previous band video games drew from the band’s iconography or mythos, Revolution X just pairs ultra-violent shooter gameplay with the music of Aerosmith and some CGI bikini babes… which is probably why this arcade game is the most successful video game released by a band. It’s just that simple!
Set in a dystopian future where youth culture is the enemy, art has been banned, and Aerosmith is being held captive by an evil buxom biker babe named Mistress Helga, Revolution X asks players to travel the world, taking out all the dastardly individuals who stand between you and the Toxic Twins. You also have to rescue band members from anywhere they turned up over the course of the game — including the men’s room.
Revolution X‘s motto was “Music is a weapon,” but players actually used a giant gun mounted to the game’s console to take out bad guys. They can also shoot lethal CDs, free bikini-clad hostages, and gain points by collecting award statuettes depicting large-bosomed women. If you successfully spill enough enemy blood, you are eventually rewarded by getting to party backstage with Aerosmith, by which I mean watch Steven Tyler parade around with scantily-clad women on his arm (which is likely what actually partying backstage with Aerosmith was like).
Are the Boys from Boston a little more evocative of freewheelin’ good times than they are of shooting down a helicopter? Yes. But the game’s violent gameplay and exuberant weirdness was beloved by fans, and made it the No. 2 most popular arcade game in 1994. Its release for multiple home game systems was a bit less beloved, with complaints about graphics and sound (not an especially sweet emotion).
Kiss: Psycho Circus: The Nightmare Child, 2000
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“Psycho Circus: The Nightmare Child” isn’t just what you call your youngest when they start acting up on vacation. It was also the name of a Windows and Sega video game that KISS released as an extension of their 1997 comic book series and 1998 album, Psycho Circus. In this game, you are a member of a KISS cover band, getting ready for another night of playing “Beth” and “I Was Made for Lovin’ You” (possibly for a crowd who are mostly there for the 25-cent wings). But the arrival of a mysterious soothsayer from an alternate realm called the Psycho Circus means you will not be playing any guitar solos tonight. Instead, you’ll be blasting your way through hordes of monsters in pursuit of the aforementioned Nightmare Child.
The game got mixed reviews, and was one of the last story-based video games released by a major band. After Guitar Hero arrived in 2005, and Rock Band in 2007, most band video games invite fans to play along with their songs, not defeat odd villains on the band’s behalf. Which is probably for the best — though Mistress Helga does deserve her own spin-off game.
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